More than a year's worth of Jamie funnies

Since posting everything to facebook I have abandoned the blog for the past 16 months! I want to use the blog to keep a second record of the Jamie funnies I have posted on facebook so they're all easy to read in one place. Here are Jamie funnies from back in spring of 2012 right through to August 2013:

Jamie: I am going to be an alien...." Heeeeeellllllllooooooo. I am an alien. I am a nice alien. I have a thing on my head." Me: " An antennae?" Jamie: " Yes, an antennae. I come from the planet A X O E [all the letters said separately]." Me: " Oh, okay! What do you eat on that planet?" Jamie: " We eat hair. Don't worry--I won't eat your hair. You are my friends." [Jamie sticks the baby monitor on top of his head and holds it in place]... " This is my antennae. I have six eyes." [The 'alien' proceeds to start doing 'Step in Time' dance moves]...Jamie: " Do you know 'Step in Time'? ' Mary Poppins?' Me: " Why yes, of course--Mary Poppins--Julie Andrews--is from our planet earth." Jamie: " Julie Andrews visited our planet." Me: " Ah, so *that* is where you learned the dance then?" " Yes" he replies in an alien robotic voice. lol~~April 24, 2012

My son was so delighted to get into his big boy bed for nap that he was literally squealing with delight as we went up the stairs saying, " I can't believe I have a big boy bed!" several times. Then when he got in he pulled the sheet up to his chin and squealed again, lol! I have *never* seen anyone so happy to go down for a nap including him, lol!!~~April 30,2012

Jamie's birthday was today! Cannot believe my little guy is now 4!! We made him a 'one band man' as he calls it for his birthday. He just loved the one man band! I'll post a picture tomorrow. He was grinning from ear to ear! David had a clever idea of putting the wrist jingle bells I'd bought him on his shoe instead so he could stomp and create jingling and rattling--a rattle in one shoe loop and the jingle bells through a shoe strap. What a happy boy we had today!!  Oh and he just loved the chimney sweep hat---he is so cute, I'll post some pictures of him in the hat too! And I gave him a Luigi costume from mario brothers so the one man band pictures he will be sporting the costume in them. ~~May 25 2012

Jamie, upon getting out of the car and seeing the gravel parking lot at Chimney Rock, NC: " I'm gonna have a rock collection in no time!"~~July 18 2012

Jamie: " I don't want to take a nap mommy." Me: " Well Jamie, why don't you take a power nap instead? Just sleep a little while to power your body to be strong. Your body will know how long it needs." Jamie: " It doesn't need a nap. I'm not tired (said as he rubs his eyes and his eyes are drooping.) But, I'll take a very short power nap mommy! Dat's okay if I take a short power nap!" Me: " Sure Jamie, go right ahead and just take a power nap, no problem!" Jamie falls asleep....2 hrs later....Me: " Honey, time to get up from your power nap." Jamie: " I took a POWER NAP!! Not a long nap!" Me: " Yeah, honey. A power nap!"  He has no idea that he sleeps for 2 hrs--I just keep stringing him along thinking he's taking power naps which he likes the idea of, lol.~~July 19 2012

Did I share on here about the time this past fall when Jamie was on the preschool playground after school let out and he approached another mom who was eating a bag of chips? He didn't know the mom, but he went up to her and said, " What are you eating?" She replied, " A bag of chips." Jamie said, "So....do you like to share?"

We were in a hurry to get out the door this morning and I let Jamie know it. As he was putting on his shoes to go I overheard him talking to himself saying in a kind of gruff old man-sounding voice, " I'm a serious man. Serious man wears sneakers." He continued with some other monologue in the same voice which I couldn't make out as I was hurrying off to brush my hair. I could hear him running to the front door saying, " I'm grumpy serious man. I'm grumpy! (in a really grumpy-sounding voice.) He beat me to the door though I caught a glimpse of him trudging forward and he hollered out in the same really grumpy old man voice, " Come on woman! We need to get going. " I about fell over laughing---he nailed roleplaying a grumpy serious old man perfectly--and how did he come up with the 'come on woman'? No one has ever referred to me as 'woman' so he came up with it on his own?~~ Aug 2 2012

This morning: 
Jamie: Mommy I want to watch part of Mary Poppins.
Me: Okay Jamie, but I need to be quick to help [getting the video in the DVD player] because the eggs will burn if I don't get back to them quickly (frying eggs in a pan for our breakfast)
Jamie: I don't mind! They'll burn anyway.~~Aug 10, 2012

Walking in to Grand Asia chinese market and cafe this evening for dinner, Jamie threw his head back and said in a pining voice, " I miss my homeland."~~ Aug 24, 2012

Jamie is required to try a bite of a new vegetable when I offer it to him but he doesn't have to eat more than the one bite. Tonight I roasted a chicken with fennel and parsnips among veggies I know he likes like carrot. As usual I insisted he eat a very small bite of the new vegetable: parsnip. He did *not* like it. A few minutes later I said to him, " See, I only made you eat one tiny bite of it. In the future I'll have you try it again sometime." Jamie quickly retorted, while pointing at our fall centerpiece, " In *my* future I will make you eat those plastic flowers."~~ Nov 17 2012

Jamie: " Mommy, you are the most beautiful mommy in the whole world...when I grow up and I move out and I get a wife I am going to buy you a ring." 
Me: " Awwww, Jamie...that is so sweet that is bringing tears to my eyes!" 
David: [Pretending to feel slighted] " Well what about me Jamie? What will you give me when you move and out and get married?" 
Jamie: " I'll buy you......cat food. Or dog food. Whatever pet you have." 
David: " Oh gee, thanks!" 
Me: [Singing to the taunting tune of nah nah] " I get a ring....and you just get cat food!" 
Jamie chimes in adding to the same tune " And I get a wife!"~~Nov 26 2012

There is nothing cuter than listening to your 4 year old sing, " Ho ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can see, somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me" over and over and over. Now and then he'll remember to throw the 'Have a holly jolly Christmas line' along with some more lyrics, but it seems to center on the mistletoe line~~ Dec 5 2012

We were on a playdate at Chick-fil-A some weeks ago with a good friend of Jamie's and his mom. My friend let her son know that there were a few minutes left before they would be leaving so he wouldn't be surprised when it was time to go. A couple of minutes later Jamie comes out of the play area by himself and stands in front of the other mom and I as we're sitting at the table talking. He looks from one face to the other for a moment or two and then says (and yes I'm not kidding this is exactly what he said): " Do you realize that by talking and talking you're giving us more time to play?" We cracked up. " Yes, we're still talking Jamie. Go play now!" I said. Oh wow that had us laughing! Feb 16 2013

Jamie: " Daddy? Can we play giant amoebas?"~~ Feb 19, 2013

I love one of Jamie's knock knock jokes he came up with today: 

Jamie: " Bang bang"
Me: " Uh (wondering why he didn't say knock knock)...who's there?"
Jamie: " Bang bang"
Me: " Bang Bang who?"
Jamie: " Bang Bang. I'm knock knock's cousin."~~April 13 2013

Jamie: " Mommy, I love you as much as a jack rabbit loves a top hat."~~April 25 2013

Jamie, upon passing the egg section of the grocery store and spotting brown-shelled eggs: " Ooooooh yummy!!! Look! Chocolate-covered eggs mommy!!! Can we get some?" I know it embarrassed him but I laughed hysterically. May 2 2013

Here is a serious and wonderful one: Jamie prayed thanking God for our food tonight: " God, thank you for this food. And please help the leaders of China and North Korea know about Jesus in their heart. And please help those people be free and to have as many children as they want. Amen."~~May 2 2013

Jamie: " Daddy, go upstairs and get my book." 
Me: " Jamie, be polite to daddy and say something like, " Daddy would you please go upstairs with me and get my book?" 
Jamie: " Fetch!"~~June 21 2013

Jamie has for over a year now been saying he wants to work in the secret service when he grows up. He regularly plays secret service agent or spy or guard and reminds us often he wants to be in it as an adult. Out of curiosity the other night I decided to look up some of the requirements to join the secret service. One of them is ' obeys authority figures readily'. I do admit I laughed out loud (I was looking at this after he went to bed.) So the next morning I told Jamie this rule and reminded him that daddy and I are the first authority figures in his life that God has placed there. That day this worked great! When he needed correction or was disobeying when I reminded him he quickly did the right thing. Now it is two days later. Earlier today he was disobeying and needed correction and as soon as I said, " Jamie, you need to obey." He retorted, " I don't want to join the secret service."~~July 18 2013

A Jamie funny from today: 
Today driving in Tennessee we came to a rural intersection. It reminded me of a place where I grew up. 
Me: Wow, this makes me feel like I'm in Vermont! 
David: It makes me feel like I'm in Pennsylvania Dutch country.
Jamie: It makes me feel like I'm in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!~~August 13 2013

Jamie and Pop Pop (my step dad Tom) were sitting along with several of us at a restaurant my parents took us to last week on vacation. As we waited for the food, Tom was playing tic-tac-toe with Jamie. Tom was trying to ensure that Jamie was winning (as any grandfather is bound to do.) When Jamie won the third time and Pop Pop feigned frustration at losing (putting his hand to his forehead and shaking his head) Jamie said, " Pop Pop! You have to *think*!"~~August 20 2013

Jamie didn't want to practice saying a sound for some words today when I was trying to work with him on making a relaxed 'ah' sound (he makes a much tighter sound in place of it which sounds off and more difficult than relaxing and saying 'ah' sounds as in 'rod'. Jamie refused to try and insisted, " I don't say it like that because I'm Chinese. I was in China longer than in America [not true] so I'm not going to say it that way." It was simultaneously amusing and annoying! It didn't seem to help when I explained that he came home as a baby and has been here a few years longer than in China!~~August 20 2013

I went upstairs the other night as David had finished reading a bedtime story and Jamie had gotten into his PJ's. David and Jamie were chatting as I rounded the corner to see Jamie lying on his back on his bedroom floor with his lovey blankets stuffed under the belly of his PJ shirt. " Are you pretending to be a mother having babies?" I asked. " No," said Jamie, " I'm a daddy seahorse!" I should have known he'd be playing daddy seahorse. When he was smaller he used to love trying to stuff himself under David's shirt with David being the daddy seahorse--then Jamie would come out from under the shirt (only stuffed head and shoulders in really) and pretend to swim around.~~August 29 2013

Jamie and David were play acting a scenario where they wanted to find a way to get through a gate to get into a bad guy's hideout. David came up with the idea that there was a panel they found with buttons labeled such things as 'force field'. Jamie liked the idea and continued, pretending to move down the imaginary line of buttons saying, " This one says 'turn off alarm'. This one says 'turn off force field.' This one says 'Open'. This one says.....wait!...'Open'?!" he said doing a double take.~~Aug 29 2013